Eirene is Jed Chun's personal blog, hosted by Joy Is Found. It's a reflective blog that he started with the intention of finding joy and renewing his awe of God in his everyday life as well as the places and things that are around him. He explores a variety of topics in relation to faith such as food, mental health, travel and relationships.
Kai Tak Cruise Terminal, Hong Kong. Camera: Canon 6D Lens: Canon 70-200mm f/2.8L II USM
It isn’t often that I reflect on my experiences in the counseling room but, recently, I’ve felt something tugging at my heart and encouraging me to put into writing some of my thoughts and observations. I’ve been thinking about writing on depression for a while and I think some of my recent experiences have, once again, brought it to the forefront. What I am going to write may not encompass what people who suffer from depression truly feel, but instead reflects my honest thoughts on things that I have observed during my counseling sessions. I think that we can all support those who struggle with depression but, ultimately, we should entrust them into the arms of the Father.
She sat down in the chair across from me as morning rays of soft gold shone through the window.
I watched as the light reflected off her light brown hair and illuminated the hazy air around her.
A familiar, bubbly, smile was slowly fading from her face and it seemed slightly less infectious than usual today.
Sadness began to settle in like a thick fog as I searched for the soul behind her glossed hazel eyes.
I felt an emptiness there as she stumbled to verbalize the emotions that plagued her mind.
He sat down in the chair with a defeated sigh under the sterile, cold, fluorescent lights.
I watched the repetitive strokes of his hand running through his hair, the uneasy push on his glasses.
The air that usually radiated lightheartedness and confidence seemed somber today.
There was a frustration that caught me through his distant gaze under his furrowed brow.
I felt a hopelessness there as he grasped for security in his fleeting circumstances.
Reflecting in the silent darkness of my office, there’s a lingering feeling of sadness. It feels like the musty smell of an old attic, there’s a certain nostalgia about this feeling. It feels like... longing. It feels like the yearning you feel trying to recovering from a broken heart, grasping for the desire to love again, to feel again. It feels like...disappointment, resignation, powerlessness. Even though I’m a therapist, there are still limits to what I can do for people who suffer from depression. I can help people make sense of their world or see it differently. I can teach them to cope differently, to put words to their emotions and find different ways to express themselves. I can help them develop insight and process their trauma. I can refer them to a psychiatrist for medication and provide them a safe place to share their fears and concerns. But, I can’t “cure” depression. I cannot heal the heart or the soul and I can’t fix chemical imbalances in the brain. I can’t be the friend they need and I can’t be their community - and sometimes it makes me feel hopeless too. But what I cannot do, Christ can do - and sometimes that happens through others.
People often look to me for advice about how to support people who struggle with depression, and, while my first instinct is always going to be “it depends,” I think I finally have a slightly more useful answer. First ask: “How can I care for you?” If they say you can’t do anything then think about the time when you experienced sorrow, think about what you wanted someone to do for you, and do those things with that person. Read that again: with. It’s one thing to make soup for someone, it’s another to make it with them. I wish I could do more than offer words and provide hotlines and resources. I wish I could be there to teach people to believe that they are worthy of someone else’s time. I wish that I could show people that they are valued, that their life has meaning and purpose. I wish I could remind them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. I wish I could walk with them through all of the small things that they accomplish in life. I wish that I could give them a hug whenever they needed one. I wish that I could cry with them in the darkness of a stormy night. I wish I could help pay rent or provide a place for someone to live. I wish I could do all these things, but I can’t. The person who can reach into their darkness, however, is YOU. You mean something to that person, you have a relationship without them outside of therapy. You live in community with them. You are their neighbor, brother, sister, mother, father, cousin, aunt, uncle, friend, co-worker. You see them in class, at the store, in the church pew, at work. You can be the hands and feet of Christ, you can be His love.
And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:28-31Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2
If you are depressed and are actively thinking about committing suicide, homicide, or causing other harm or injury, please call 911 or check into the nearest emergency room immediately. If you are or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.