Eirene is Jed Chun's personal blog, hosted by Joy Is Found. It's a reflective blog that he started with the intention of finding joy and renewing his awe of God in his everyday life as well as the places and things that are around him. He explores a variety of topics in relation to faith such as food, mental health, travel and relationships.
Seattle Center. Camera: 700D Lens: Tokina 11-16mm Pro DXII
I realize that it’s been awhile since I’ve posted a personal blog and I guess that you could call this my waking up from hibernation post. This past winter has definitely been a very trying season in my life, but I’ve finally got my thoughts in order. I realize it’s a bit late to be writing my reflections about 2016 since it's already more than halfway into February, but better late than never right?
2016 was quite definitively, for me, a year of unmet expectations. Reflecting back on my first blog post I can’t help but laugh at myself a little bit. For example, this blog has become something very different from what I had originally expected/intended and, needless to say, it is/was unmet expectation number one. I remember the optimism I had in that first blog post, blinded by a sense of idealism that I would think about myself less, that I’d look beyond myself more, that I would go on adventures and try to take in the world in all of its God given wonder. Unfortunately for me, that optimism ended rather quickly when I got stuck wallowing in self-pity all of March and most of April. When I wrote Undateable while I was overcome by an inexplicable (probably God given), albeit brief, sense of clarity, after which the world began to revolve around me again. It wasn’t until October that I finally got back on track, but little did I know that real life was about to hit me like a freight train. In November I lost my job. In December I still hadn’t received any word from the numerous positions I had applied to in September/October/November and I was reminded quite clearly of my singleness while attempting to celebrate some of the most important moments in my friends lives. By the end of December, I was once again in a spiritual slump (actually it was more like mild depression). Despite the jubilation that was occurring around me, all I could see were my current struggles. During the last week of December, I found brief solace in the fact that I was spending New Year’s with my closest friends. But, as I ushered in the new year, I couldn’t help but be reminded that I was now unemployed, broke, single, and suddenly car-less. My expectations for being employed went unfulfilled. I ended the year with a few dollars to my name, a far cry from the savings account and investments I thought I’d have by that time. I was still single, despite telling myself that 2016 was going to be the year that changed. On top of that, I didn’t even have a car because apparently some towing companies can’t do the one thing that you would expect them to know how to do.
However, God is still good (Ha! Didn’t expect that did you? Well, you can be sure that I had some choice words for God during those few weeks). Despite my continued moping throughout the month of January, February has allowed me to see that God had been working things for His purposes, my sanctification (Romans 8:28). While I had been so caught up in all of the things that I still did not have, I hadn’t paid much attention to the things that God had been doing in my life and the things that he was preparing me for. So in an effort to get back to the heart of this blog, let me tell you some of the reasons why God was awesome in 2016.
- God graciously allowed me to graduate despite the mediocre academic effort that I had put into grad school, thus allowing me to receive my Master’s Degree and my intern therapist license certifying me to begin my career doing what God has called me to do, counseling.
- God allowed me to travel across the continental United States to recapture my attention and remind me how truly vast and amazing His creation is as well as show me how privileged I am to be able to travel for over a month.
- God took away my income and car so that I would learn what it meant to trust in Him, finally learn how to stop frivolously spending money in preparation for a salary that I would(will) eventually have to steward, and learn to be grateful to my parents for all that they have sacrificed (and continue to sacrifice) for me.
- God reminded me that He has placed a community in my life that will encourage, love, rebuke, and support me regardless of the circumstances of their own lives.
- God allowed me to be a witness to the joys of marriage and engagement. He allowed me to experience what it meant to genuinely be happy for people and to celebrate with them even when I myself had nothing to celebrate. And through my friends’ relationships, I have come to realize that, as a result of my self-centeredness singleness, I am not yet ready to love someone the way they ought to be loved.
And that’s not even half of it. So, in actuality, you could really call this post a reflection on my reflections of 2016. In all of my unmet expectations, though God did not give me anything that I wanted in 2016, He gave me what I needed and has given me much more than I could’ve asked for. Throughout the year, especially these last few months, God has taken and He has given, but He has been faithful every step of the way, even when I cried out in bitterness against Him. So, as I look forward to the rest of 2017, I still have expectations, but I know that even if they are not met, God is still working in the background, preparing a way for me.
"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21 ESV