Eirene is Jed Chun's personal blog, hosted by Joy Is Found. It's a reflective blog that he started with the intention of finding joy and renewing his awe of God in his everyday life as well as the places and things that are around him. He explores a variety of topics in relation to faith such as food, mental health, travel and relationships.
Yellowstone National Park. Camera: 700D Lens: Tokina 11-16mm Pro DXII
A few weeks ago I went on a road trip across the country with two of my friends. As I reflected through parts of the trip, there was one comment that I remembered very clearly. I can’t remember the exact context, but one of my friends said something along the lines of “Wow, we’re so incredibly small in this big world.” If I had to give my best guess, I would say that she had said it while we were going through Mount Rushmore or Yellowstone National Park... probably the latter. I remember very clearly stopping to think right after she had said it - “She’s right, we’re so incredibly small in this vast world that God has created. There’s no way that this could have happened by chance.” I’m sure I also made a comment with a nod toward that sentiment, but now it seems that there was another message that God was trying to communicate to me.
During the weeks preceding this road trip and following my missions trip, I had been vacationing and distracting myself from the inevitable reality that I would eventually have to return to my responsibilities; the real world was waiting for me right around the corner. The road trip was essentially an extension of my postponement of responsibilities, but in the back of my mind I knew that I had some important decisions that I would have to make. I had grants, my marriage and family therapist intern number, and jobs to apply for. I was trying to decide whether I would stay in the states or try to work abroad for a while - if I stayed in the states, should I stay in LA or move to another part of California? I had to consider how to pay off the very real debts that I had accumulated over the past few years of schooling. I needed to figure out how I was going to manage and lead the church small groups I was in charge of. Honestly, if I had the option, I would just choose to keep traveling and not worry about anything. I felt a bit overwhelmed and this pressure was unfamiliar to me.
So reflecting on my friend’s comment, I realized there was something that I had missed, or rather, forgotten. While I had been grasping at what seemed to be the defining factors of my future, I had lost sight of what God had put right in front of me - Himself. In my preoccupation with myself and my own problems, I had forgotten that the same God who created the vast expanses of the universe and painted, with such detail, the wonders of the nature that had been right in front of me, was also sovereign over the details of my miniscule life. I think that Paul Tripp did a good job of capturing this idea in his book AWE. His premise is that we often lose our amazement of God and forget just how awesome He is, and as a result we miss out on the peace, security and rest that comes from having our souls satisfied by his magnificence. He writes:
“So we live wandering, disjointed lives, or we work to be the authors of our story, trying to make our personal narrative turn in the direction we would like it to turn. And in so doing, we attempt what we cannot do and want what we will never get. Because of our forgetfulness, God has created the physical world to be a mnemonic, to help us daily remember that we are not alone, that we are not at the center, that life is not primarily about us, and that there is a grander story than the little stories of our individual lives. -- We get so obsessed with our own desires, plans, schedules, and accomplishments that we have little time for meditative reflection on the awesome glory that is ours to see and remember. We have lost our wonder and, in so doing, have shrunk our souls to the size of momentary earthbound hopes and dreams.” (AWE - Paul Tripp)
As I looked over the wonders of Yellowstone, from the exploding geysers to the regenerative forests, and from the deep blue clarity of the hot springs to the lush green and glimmering gold of the expansive plains, it was impossible to escape God’s physical reminder of awesome He is. Yet, my heart was distracted by the worries that occupied the back of my mind like a gloomy storm cloud. Somehow, despite being far from the worries of “real life” I could not be still and allow my soul to soak in the fullness God’s glory displayed. But as I look through the pictures and try to recreate the experience in my mind, even the residual wonder reminds me that, despite my divided attention, the God that created all of this is also working the details of my life to reflect a bit of that glory as well. And so I find rest in being just a small speck in this universe, because it reminds me of how great my God is, how fleeting my struggles are, and most importantly how amazing it is to be loved and cared for anyway.
“Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing. Look at the birds of the air: the neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if god so clothes the grass of the field, which is today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious saying ‘what shall we eat’ or ‘what shall we drink’ or ‘what shall we wear?’ For the gentiles seek after all these things and your heavenly father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:25-33