Eirene is Jed Chun's personal blog, hosted by Joy Is Found. It's a reflective blog that he started with the intention of finding joy and renewing his awe of God in his everyday life as well as the places and things that are around him. He explores a variety of topics in relation to faith such as food, mental health, travel and relationships.
Taken somewhere on the 5 freeway near Bakersfield. Camera: 700D Lens: 40mm Canon EF-S
Unfortunately I haven’t been able to keep up with this blog as much as i thought I was going to. I guess I had some high expectations and aspirations for the new year and ended up falling short again. I think too often people get caught up on the fact that they’ve “failed” already and then use that as justification to stop where they...well...stopped. The difference this year is that I think I’ve finally developed a new mindset. I’m not going to let some busyness and laziness deter me from moving forward with this blog.
It also helps that I’ve been spending more time reflecting on what’s been going on in my life. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that when I go looking for God I’m probably bound to find him (Jeremiah 29:13), even beyond what other people would consider self-fulfilling prophecies. At the beginning of this year I had already known that I was going to be busy this semester, but I didn't realize just how busy it really was until about two weeks in. Since then I’ve been trying to navigate the waters of these newly found responsibilities and have also been learning how to balance sleep, work, and everything else. That being said, I guess the blog was one of those things that I had been putting thought into, and even though I wasn’t actively writing anything, that in itself has helped me reorient myself to what God’s been doing in my life.
The biggest thing that I’ve become more aware of recently is how God graciously uses the broken to bring healing to others. I don’t think it would be a stretch to say that the people who have overcome the most adversity in life would be the best equipped to help others through their struggles. However, I feel that people often tend to think that therapists, like pastors and teachers, have their lives together and come from sheltered backgrounds and thus are allowed to have somewhat of a “savior complex.” These misconceptions may create a chasm that makes people feel as though therapists are unable to relate to their situations. Yet other times, people may look to them as an embodiment or symbols of security.
But, as I’ve progressed through my graduate program, I’ve been enlightened as to how much some helping professionals have gone through in their own lives. From enduring childhood trauma to run-ins with death; personal struggles with mental illness, PTSD, addiction and Job-like personal loss (the Bible character), it’s amazing what some of these people have endured. But miraculously, many of them found help, and by the grace of God, have also found God Himself. During these few years of school I’ve heard many stories about the amazing impact that these people have had in other people’s lives. All for the sake of just wanting to see others healed.
On a more personal note, I’ve definitely been experiencing God working through my own limitations. Part of my program requires us to start seeing clients while we’re still in school. Toward the end of last semester I was moved out of one of my placement sites for “not being a good fit” (speaking euphemistically). Needless to say, I definitely began to question myself, my capacity for being a therapist, and my training/education. I even contemplated a career change midway through my program. Yet through this whole ordeal, I began to understand James 4:6 (“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.,") in a completely different way.
During my commute to what was the first day at my new placement site, I remember praying something along the lines of, “I can’t do this by myself anymore. If I’m going to do this then You’re going to have to help me out.” The next day I started seeing clients and immediately I was able to develop rapport and come up with some initial treatment options; something that took me multiple sessions at my other placement. I didn’t change anything about my approach and I didn’t learn anything new over the break. I really can’t think of anything beyond the fact that in trusting Him, God finally allowed me to work.
Going forward, it’s going to be a struggle, but I think 2 Corinthians 12:9 sums it up best: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”